Today, I’m doing something I haven’t done in a long time.
Yes, that included updating this blog, silly. But it also involves where I’m updating it from, and indeed how I intend to spend the day. Right now as I type, I’m sitting at Santa Cruz’s cozy little coffee den, Caffé Pergolessí, where punk and new wave and other indie bands I’ve never heard of simultaneously massage and assault my ears, political discussions are just as common as popular culture discussions, local art is placed on display for admiration and purchase, and the window has to be cracked open with an object to stay open (I’ve done this with an old M&Ms Minis tube I use to hold disposable earplugs). After taking care of some school matters, sending a coworker some contacts for possibly recruiting interns for the Fall, putting together a birthday wish list (I turn 24 in 15 days!), and discussing any remaining steps with being booked for conventions, I will be producing again, hopefully in this atmosphere— or, if not, I’ll carry it with me as I run other errands in town, such as swinging by Forever21, Urban Outfitters, and Starving Musician.
Why on earth is this significant? Simple— it’s what used to get me into the producing/composing/writing mood, and I haven’t done it in ages.
This isn’t to say that it’s a bad thing that I haven’t— for the most part, I’ve been unable to do so simply because I’ve been out of the state, performing for fans and hanging out with friends across the country. When I wasn’t performing on the weekends, I was preparing for them during the weeks, as well as taking on an internship. I haven’t had a true, blue weekend in quite some time, and to be able to do so again has felt exhilarating to say the least. To be able to sit back down, worrying not for what happens in two weeks so much as in three or four, is a luxury in which I’ve not partaken in some time, and the rush of emotions from several overdue trips to this artsy little haven has come back to hit me like a wave after several ripples.
Put another way, I’ve had mad writer’s block this summer. “Worldly Spirits” for TEB8 was only a marginal exception, seeing as it was a remix and I had someone else’s material to work with, though I suppose a marginal exception still qualifies. Nevertheless, I’ve had nigh upon no motivation or intention of composing new music, writing new lyrics, or just plain producing in general. Don’t get me wrong— I’ve had ideas aplenty, but every attempt to set them to notation failed mostly due to my finding them subpar. I hated whatever I tried to write, because I had little creativity left and little time in which to recharge it. As well, I’ve been so bombarded with other franchises, other peoples’ works, that I’ve had little to no time to develop my own ideas past “oh wouldn’t that be nice”.
Which brings me back here— this is how I recharge, ladies and gentlemen. Red Bull & Bagel in one hand, clicking notes in with the other, headphones on, window open… in creative bliss. This is where a great deal of my best music was composed, written, produced, uploaded, and shared with the world— or, as the case may be, at least the groundwork was set so I could revisit it later in my own
studio room. It’s a beautiful feeling to be back to what I enjoyed most— I’ve had to fight tears back a couple times before finishing this entry as it is, and perhaps later today I’ll permit myself the selfish indulgence of their release.
I have some news about Super Ponybeat as a series soon, as well as a couple of series ideas I’d like to run by you all, but for now… I’m going to enjoy today’s somewhat carefree feeling.