It makes sense that eurobeat has a few oddities, since the genre itself is, by all measures, rather odd. Its quick-and-loose relationship with English and inherent cheesiness makes it a boon for some unusual and smirk-inducing oddities, whether intentional or accidental. This silliness is part of the genre’s charm, and even in its recent years as it’s had some time to study proper English grammar and pronunciation, it’s quite aware that some of the best moments come from the Dada-like nonsense that arises.
Here are five eurobeat songs that are just so silly, so utterly bizarre and out-of-the-blue that you just won’t believe they actually exist.
5) THE ENTIRE COVERLAND SERIES
Wait… this isn’t an individual song! Hell, some of these aren’t even eurobeat!
That’s true, but this collection from the former eurobeat label LED Records (father label of Vibration and, later, Dima Music) contains so many different genres and styles of covers that are so cheesy they spread themselves neatly on crackers. As the title may suggest, the songs range from covers of movie scores to 80s pop songs to Christmas carols and everything in between.
Check out Volume 1 on iTunes here. There are, to my knowledge, nine volumes of roughly ten songs each on USA iTunes.
4) WHEN YOU WISH UPON A STAR by Lolita
Yes, there’s a eurobeat cover of this Disney song. And this particular one is amongst my absolute favorites.
In fact, this is part of an entire series of eurobeat covers of Disney tunes, from the well-known hits like A Whole New World and It’s A Small World to lesser-known tunes like Mickey & Minnie On A Moonlit Night and Macho Duck (the links will take you to wiki entries— they really do exist). In the early 2000s, Disney and Avex teamed up and requested that eurobeat label ABeatC (now split between Go Gos Music and Sun Fire) follow up the success of Domino’s cover of Mickey Mouse March with more covers of Disney material. The entire ABeatC roster is present at full-force across three full volumes and one best-of compilation. It’s hard to find on conventional venues, sadly, and harder still to acquire legally outside of Japan. However, if you can get a hold of this as an import (and can stand the pure cheesiness!), then your ears are in for a real treat.
3) “SPIDERMAN” by Mark Foster
There are eurobeat songs for other superheroes (which may warrant another post~!) but few are quite as notable as this one. It seems to be… homoromantic self-insert fan fiction about Spiderman.
I wasn’t kidding.
It’s actually pretty awesome, and it only took a couple of decades for the song to get remixed into eurobeat style. It’s actually one of the standout entries from SAIFAM’s non-Avex side-work, up there with “Like A Speedy Car” and “Black UFO” in my book. Buy it on iTunes here!
2) SUCK A BAZOOKA by Franz Tornado & The Bazooka Girls
Many of eurobeat label Hi-NRG Attack’s lyrics and titles are nonsensical, but very few quite encompass the madness like the Franz Tornado alias that producer and vocalist Federico Rimonti uses.
This song is a direct call to action to locate a bazooka and suck on it.
…I don’t know what else you expected.
It’s also an absolutely stellar instance of Hi-NRG Attack at its firearms-and-livestock best, up there with Bazooka Pistolero by Franz Tornado, Mad Cow by Franz Tornado, and… Franz Tornado by Mad Cow. Hi-NRG Attack is certifiably nuts, and it’s why we love them so very, very much.
1) MAID ATTACK by Franz Tornado
Of course Hi-NRG Attack would reprise its role in this list. I contemplated putting “My Sweet Banana” in this spot, but it just doesn’t measure up to the sheer level of “what-is-this-I-don’t-even” as this song.
The song is, as many of Hi-NRG Attack’s songs did, a direct address to a trend in Japan at the time of writing, in this case maid cafés in Akihabara. With various key changes, a live-instrument introduction, awesome guitar solos, and nonsensical lyrics, it’d already have been completely out in left field, but the whole thing starts out with this loud utterance of
It’s an audio experience you absolutely must try once in your life. Only once, if you find you don’t like it, or find its sheer off-the-wall insanity at least somewhat endearing. If you adore it as much as I do, you can pick it up on iTunes here.
I guarantee you that this is not an exhaustive list! If there are eurobeat songs you think are waaaaay out in left field, please feel free to share them here! YouTube links are okay, but iTunes links would be preferred— let’s support the artists of these zany concoctions!